Chapter 6 (1/2)
Part 1
I yawned, more out of a sense of habit rather than actual fatigue as I walked down the morning streets. In fact, I didn't feel drowsy at all even though I spent last night transcribing my notes, browsing the web for data, and watching funny cat videos, in that order. I supposed I might as well tick the 'confirmed' box next to my ‘doesn't need any sleep' article, but I decided I should go for broke and wait another day.
With such thoughts on my mind, I rounded another corner and noticed a familiar back in the distance. I increased my pace and in a minute or so I managed to catch up to the guy and I greeted him via a friendly pat on the back.
”Morning!”
”Ugh.” Josh looked up at me with weary eyes. ”Why do you have to be so unnecessarily energetic so early in the morning?”
”I don't know, but I am working on it.”
Josh didn't respond and just let out a melancholic sigh before he continued putting one leg after the other.
”Did something happen?”
As if he was only fishing for the question from the very beginning, the guy immediately perked up the moment I asked.
”You won't believe what happened to me yesterday!”
”Won't I? Careful, that sounded like a challenge.”
”Okay, here it goes... So yesterday I was hanging out with the girls.”
”You mean Angie and the class rep?”
”Of course I mean them.”
”Just checking.”
”Anyways, we had a nice afternoon, kind of like old times.”
”Oh, so you used to hang out before?”
”Yeah, in middle school. We were in the same class even back then and we were in the student council together. Can I continue?”
”Sure, sorry for interrupting.”
”Anyways, we were having fun. Going to the joint to get some fast food, hanging out in the park, window-shopping, stuff like that. Then Angie decided to take Ammy to a place I couldn't go.”
”Shopping for lingerie?”
”No!” My friend protested and gave me a disappointed squint. ”Is that really the first thing that comes to your mind?”
”Well, yeah? That, and the toilet.”
”Ew.”
”What?” I protested in turn. ”Girls go to the toilet together all the time!”
”Doesn't matter, they weren't going there.” He paused, presumably for dramatic effect. ”They went to the bookstore.”
I gave him a shrug and said, ”So what? Are you allergic to books or something?”
”You don't get it. Angie was taking her to the young adult aisle.”
”Once again: so what?”
Josh sighed and began rubbing the base of his neck.
”Listen, have you ever read any of the books there?”
”... Did you just seriously ask that from the guy with the amnesia?”
”Fine, then let me explain! Nowadays these books are all about a bunch of monsters falling for vapid teenage girls. Vampires, werewolves, aliens, chupacabras...”
”That sounds like a gross oversimplification, but whatever. So? How does that affect you?”
”I'm getting to it! You see, Angie had a... phase. Arguably she's still in it, but nowhere as near as deeply as a few years ago.”
”She was reading these books?”
”Worse. She was obsessed with them. She was reading them, talking about them, watching the adaptations multiple times. and at one point she even forced me to read her favorite series under threats of physical violence.”
”I gather you didn't like it.”
”It was horrible! The plot made no sense, the protagonist was a bland idiot and it had a handsome teenaged werewolf for the male lead... who didn't turn into a wolf at full moon! The books didn't even mention the phase of the moon! I mean, who writes a book where werewolves don't respond to the moon?! There were also some vampires in there, but those only seemed like vampires, and in reality they were just Russian immigrants with a magic disease, so I could cut those some slack, but the werewolves?! I hated the entire thing from beginning to end.”
”... Did you actually tell all that to her?”
”I did, and then some more,” he answered with his chest puffed up.
”And how did she take it?”
The second I uttered that question, his chest deflated at record speed.
”She refused to talk to me for a week.”
”Ouch... But how does that relate to your story?”
”I told you I'm getting to it! So, Angie wanted to go to the bookstore to look at new releases and I refused to go on principle.” At this point he hesitated for a moment, but then he ultimately continued with, ”We... might have also had a little fight over it.”
”Ooooooh... I was just about to ask where she is,” I grinned at my friend and he scoffed in return. ”Giving you the cold shoulder again? Are you feeling lonely?”
”Oh, shut up.” He rolled his eyes and sullenly tucked his hands into his pockets. ”And it's not the reason why she is not here.”
”Really? Then why?”
He looked at me, took a deep breath, and finally got to the meaty part of the explanation.
”You see, after that happened, Angie and Ammy went into the bookstore and left me outside. Of course, they left their bags with me so I had no choice but to wait for them... and then this girl showed up.”
Now that grabbed my interest. Another suitor appeared? So soon?
”What kind of girl?”
”Average height, a little curvy, long white hair.”
”White?”
”Yeah, pure as snow. It was the thing that first caught my eye too.”
I nodded to myself in satisfaction. This new girl most certainly fit into my ‘unusual hair equals importance' theory.
”So, what happened? Did you hit on her?” Josh gave me a deadpan look in response, so I guessed, ”You didn't.”
”Of course I didn't! What kind of guy do you think I am?!”
”Okay, then what?”
He shook his head in frustration for a moment before he returned to the story.
”Here comes the really weird part: The girl just walked up to me, during the middle of the day, on a crowded pedestrian road, and she just kissed me!”
”She kissed you?” I repeated after him to make sure I've heard that right, and he immediately nodded.
”Yes! Right on the mouth too!”
”And she didn't say anything?”
”She told me I was cute and then she ran away and disappeared into the crowd before I could say anything!”
”Huh. You are right. That must have been pretty weird.”
”I know, right!?”
”Sooooo, how does that relate to Angie not coming to school with you?”
”Well, she just came out of the bookstore to get her purse when this happened. She left it in her bag I think, and she saw what happened. Then once the girl was gone she started arguing with me about kissing random people on the street! Like it was my fault!”
”I hear you.”
”Man, girls are weird!”
”No, I think it's just that you don't really get them,” I told him furtively and he raised an eyebrow in return.
”What do you mean?”
”She was jealous, you idiot. That's why she flipped out.”
My friend suddenly flushed red (people around these parts do that a lot) and vigorously shook his head.
”No no no! You are misunderstanding something, we are not like that.”
”Not like what?”
”I mean... it's not like we are in a relationship or anything...” His words became less sure as he went on.
”And so she cannot be jealous? You see, this is what I mean when I say that you don't get girls.”
”Oh really?” It seemed like I put too much pressure on the guy and so he became petulant. ”Then can Mr. Casanova, the one true explorer of the female heart, give me any advice?”
”Sure!” I answered enthusiastically just to take him off-guard. ”Apologize.”
”Again?”
”Sure, it worked the first time, didn't it?”
”... I suppose, but then what?”
”Telling her you are sorry is just the foot in the door. Once she calms down, you use the opportunity to explain what happened. If she still wouldn't melt, just exaggerate how much it shocked you. Cook up a small speech about how violated you felt that some random girl on the street stole your first kiss that you were saving for ‘that special someone' and it should let you sail through the roughest part. Oh, also make sure you make up about the whole refused-to-enter-the-bookstore-thing if you are at that. You can be a little more mundane there, just tell her your tastes might not align but you are not judging her. Ah, and before I forget it: Did the class rep see the kiss too?”
”I don't know... why?”
”It doesn't matter. Make sure she is either there when you explain things to Angie, or pull her aside and tell everything to her as well.”
”But why? She had nothing to do with it.”
”Just trust me, okay? It will help you a lot in the long run if you try and avoid misunderstandings.”
”But why the class r... I mean, why Ammy?”
”Just do as I said and don't ask questions, okay?” I snapped and he immediately gave me a nod. ”Good.”
After that, we walked in silence until we could see the school gates, at which point Joshua tentatively spoke up again.
”Say, Leo?”
”Yeah?”
”Are you... actually experienced with girls?”
”Dude, for the umpteenth time: Am-ne-sia!”
”Yeah, I know, but... you sounded so sure of yourself when you talked about dealing with them.”
”Okay Josh, here's a pro tip then: Don't think of them as ‘girls'.”
”... I shouldn't?”
”No. Think of them as just people like you. Try to put yourself into their shoes and figure out what they are thinking about. For example, what would you think if you saw that some guy kissed Angie on the mouth in the middle of a street without her resisting?”
”I would be... I...” Obviously conflicted and lost for words, Josh just hung his head in defeat. ”I don't really know.”
”You better think about it then,” I grinned and patted the guy on the back.
”Yeah...” For a few seconds he stayed silent, and then he directed a suspicious glance at me and asked, ”Are you really sure you are not experienced with girls?”
”I told you, I've no idea. If I had to guess though, I'd say I don't.”
”Really? Why would you think that?”
”Idunno. I guess I am just not the kind of guy girls would be interested in.”
Josh stopped for a moment to give me a flat look.
”Okay, you are just messing with me right now.”
”Well, I‘m not.”
”But... you are the handsome athletic guy of our duo!”
I grinned at him.
”What does that make you then?”
He grinned back in kind and said, ”I am the clever, charming one, obviously.”
We looked each other in the eye for a second and then burst out laughing at the same time.
Part 2
”Wish me luck,” Josh implored a touch wearily as we stood in front of the classroom.
”An arm and a leg, man.”
”... What?”
”It's a variation on 'break a leg'.”
”I thought it was about something costing a lot...”
”No, I am pretty sure I meant the former.”
My friend shrugged with a face that said 'Fine, I'll take whatever I can get' and we entered the classroom. Following a diminutive nod, he headed for Angie's desk. I honestly wished the guy some luck, in my heart at the very least, and walked over to my own spot.
It was actually a little early, so there were still a lot of placeholders idling around the desks in small groups, repeating stock phrases to each other like broken machines. Sometimes I wondered why Josh and the others wouldn't notice this, but I didn't dare to point it out to them in fear of breaking the spell and irrevocably contaminating my future observations.
I practically fell into my chair and stretched my arms and back like a cat. I already did that a few times this morning, but my limbs still felt wooden. It was probably because I spent the entire night sitting in front of my computer, organizing my notes. Maybe I should start exercising in the morning?
Being reminded, I reached into my bag and retrieved my new and improved notebook. ... Well, okay, maybe it was only new, but I liked to pretend that starting anew without all the messed up, cramped, and stricken out text was an improvement in and of itself.
While I entered all of my previous ideas and observations into a handy text file that I could freely edit in the future through the magic of the backspace key, I still needed a physical notebook, as carrying a PC on my back around school didn't exactly fit my definition of fun. Should I get a smart-phone with a keyboard? I did some research the previous night, and it was apparent that while I and my immediate social circle might've used outdated bricks for telecommunication, the technology actually existed. I should really buy one this afternoon, I decided. Or better yet, maybe try one of those tablet machines. Preferably a tough one with a long battery life.
I was still considering my options when my ears caught a small creak coming from the desk in front of mine. I glanced up and, sure enough, I just caught the princess hastily sitting down while overtly ignoring me. That reminded me: I still had her shoe in my bag, didn't I?
I grimaced as I recalled the previous day's events and began staring at the girl's back with a slowly swelling urge of mischief. At last, I quietly leaned forward, making sure I made no noise. Slowly, very slowly, I got close enough that my face was almost in line with her shoulders, and then I whispered right next to her ear.
”Good morning, princess.”
”Gyaaaaa!”
As predictable as ever, the princess jumped in her seat with a strange noise. In fact, for a moment she was teetering on the edge of falling over, with only two legs of her chair touching the ground. Without a word I grabbed the backrest of her chair and set it upright with a solid yank.
”Careful there,” I tried to sound as friendly as possible. ”You might hurt yourself if you fall over. Again.”
”Youuuuuu!” She glared at me with the kind of fiery disapproval usually reserved to door-to-door salesmen.
”Me?” I asked back innocently, and for a moment I felt a distinct sense of déjà vu.
She kept up her glare for a few seconds before averting her face with a harrumph.
”What are you doing?”
”I'm ignoring you,” she answered with a pout, completely unaware of the irony of her words.
”Why?”
”For what you did yesterday.”
”... Saving you from breaking your neck?”
Her eyes snapped back to me.
”No, what you did after that!”
”... Saving you from breaking your neck... again?” Seeing that her face was getting crimson with what I presumed to be blood-curdling rage, I wisely decided to change the subject. ”Speaking of which, how's your ankle?”
”Oh, it's fine, I can barely feel it anym-HEY! Don't change the subject!”
I clicked my tongue. She was onto me.
”Fine, we apparently remember the events of yesterday differently. Would you enlighten me which part are you angry about?”
She looked at me blankly for a moment before she turned around again.
”I can't.”
”Why?”
”Because it's...”
Her voice trailed off, and while I could swear I saw her jaw moving, I couldn't hear the end of it,
”Because of what?” I pressed on for clarification, but instead she just turned back to me and yelled at me again.
”Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
”Whoa!” I raised my hands, palms out, in a sign of surrender. ”Easy there, we are in public.”
As if the information just dawned on her, the princess looked around and turned pale at the sight of the placeholders looking at her. After a brief pause she jumped to her feet, ready to bolt out of the room... at which point I promptly grabbed her again and pulled her back onto her seat. She landed with a soft puff and looked at me like she didn't understand what just happened.
”Don't make a scene,” I scolded her gently, as you would do to a misbehaving puppy. ”Classes are about to start.”
”Sorry.”
That's what she said, but if her expression was any indication, she wanted to murder me and my unborn children with a teaspoon. In retrospect, it was probably just a mixture of anger, surprise, and embarrassment. Angprizerassment?
... That was horrible. I apologize.
”Is there a problem?”
I turned and smiled at the new voice entering the conversation.
”Good morning class rep.”
She gave me a long, level look in return.
”You still haven't told me what that means.”
”I'm pretty sure I did.”
”It's beside the point,” She said curtly and turned to the princess. ”Why were you shouting?”
”I... er...”
”We are terribly sorry for causing a ruckus,” I came to the rescue. ”We were just acting out a scene from an old show and it got out of hand. It won't happen again.”
The class rep looked at me dubiously for a moment before she turned to the princess.
”Is that so?”
”Err... I mean... Yeah, I suppose?”
Amelia still looked unconvinced, but in the end, she relented and turned back to me.
”Please be more careful in the future.” With that said, her expression abruptly became less formal and she even smiled a little. ”Oh, before I forget it. I found what you were asking for.”
It took me an embarrassingly long moment to realize what she was talking about, but then I smiled back in kind.
”Ah, you mean the notes!” She nodded. ”Thanks, I thought it would take longer.”
”You are welcome,” she said before she stepped back to her desk and handed me a huge stack of notebooks. And then went back to deliver an identical pile. I had no choice but to whistle in amazement.
”How did you even bring these to school?”
”I asked some... friends for help.”
”Either way, thanks a lot. You are a lifesaver.”
She smiled demurely at my repeated thanks and moved back to her seat. I took another look at the stacks and gulped. It's a good thing I don't need to sleep, I supposed.
I wanted to open one of them and take a peek, but something else drew my attention. The blonde girl in front of me was once again glaring at me (we were getting to the point where I should only note when she wasn't doing so, I guess) and she was also slightly shaking, her face a shade of crimson I thought belonged only to humanoid aliens in low-budget afternoon sci-fi series.
She reminded me of a boiling kettle on the brink of exploding. In fact, I felt tempted to poke her cheeks just to see if steam would come out of her ears in a whistle. However, before my mischievous impulses could take control again, a different person appeared at our side.
”Morning!” She beamed an infectious smile at me and I immediately returned it.
”Hi, Angie.”
The princess only nodded at her before she resumed her attempts to burn my face off with the fierceness of her eyes.
”You didn't greet me when you came in,” Angie stated with an exaggerated pout.
”Sorry, I didn't want to be a third wheel.”
”A-ha!” She struck a triumphant finger in my direction and exclaimed, ”I knew it was you! You sent Joshua over to make up!”
”Guilty as charged,” I answered modestly.
”Too bad though. For a moment I actually thought he might have gotten over his stubborn streak.”
”Hey, I am right here, you know?” Josh protested, and true to his word, he was standing right behind Angie.
”I know,” The girl grinned and stuck out her tongue, which elicited a weird grimace from my friend. They were both smiling though, so I figured they buried the hatchet without any problem. ”So, what was that all about?”
Angie's question shook me out of my momentary daze and I responded with a vague, ”What was what about?”
”The shouting.”
”Oh, that... We were just talking about what happened yesterday.”
Josh and Angie looked at each other questioningly.
”You mean, between you two?”
”No!” the princess protested right away. ”There is absolutely nothing between the two of us.”
”Except the desk and her chair, of course,” I helpfully added before I remembered something. This might not have been the most appropriate moment, but I decided I might as well give her shoe right then and there. It was only so that I wouldn't forget and avoid further complications down the line and in no way because I found her flustered reactions infinitely amusing. Not even the slightest. With that rationale in mind, I reached into my bag and presented the aforementioned footwear.
”Here, you forgot this yes...” It was at this point when she started making funny noises and tried to rise to her feet to run away, so I once again tugged on the back of her jacket and pulled her back onto her chair before she could cause any more of a ruckus. ”... terday. Also, I would really appreciate it if you stopped that.”
She once more looked at me like she had no idea what just happened or how I managed to restrain her. I sighed and forcefully handed the shoe over to her. She looked at it blankly for a moment, then at me.
”What are you supposed to say when someone returns your property?”
”Thank you?”
”Exactly. Good girl.” I gave her a thumb up and she once again reddened in embarrassment. Well, at least she was still too dazed to glare at me, so that was a relief.
”Excuse me?” Angie interjected with a hand on my table. ”Why exactly do you have Elly's shoe?”
”Elly?” I asked back in reflex until I remembered that the princess actually had a name. ”Oh, you mean her?”