Chapter 171 - Nothing (2/2)

The Emperor narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow, perplexed, ”That's it?” and blinking at her. It was as if his comprehension had suddenly disappeared because he did not seem to understand her words at all.

Lei Xing nodded, ”That's it.”

{...It's the truth, and he should know...So...so...well, so he can...I don't know...Whatever the hell he's going to!... I'm tired...}

The Emperor knit his brows and just stared at her, and she lowered her eyes down to her hands, as her heart pounded loudly in her chest and her ears rang. She could feel the Emperor's gaze piercing into her, it was unnerving and it felt as if...it stung. She tightly knit her brows and bit her inner lip.

{...This is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be...Why does he have to be like this? Get angry and shout at me or something, why do you have to be so...so...difficult?...}

After what felt like forever, the Emperor quietly said, ”I understand.” and then quietly got up and turned to leave. Lei Xing squeezed her hands tightly and glanced at this back and then at the bowl on the table. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and said, ”Wait.”

He stopped and turned to around to look at her, still with hope in his eyes. But lei Xing did not see, she could not bring herself to meet his gaze. She stood up and stretched her hand out and said in a small voice, ”My ring...It's important to me...” When the Emperor did not move, she cast him a quick glance and then regretted it immediately. He looked lost and abandoned and her chest tightened and the lump in her throat grew. She looked back down and added, ”...please.” She knew this might be her only her chance.

The Emperor stared at her pale face and hooded eyes, which he had glimpsed there current reddened and watery state when she had glanced up. The Emperor walked over to her and stood in front of her. He looked down at her outstretched hand, which was subtly shaking. He saw her hand shrink back a little but then she firmly held it out again, waiting for the ring, all the while steadily looking at the ground, avoiding his eyes.

The Emperor stood there looking down at her for a while and saw cold sweat begin to form on her forehead, saw her lower lip start to tremble, but then it was quickly stopped when she bit into it.

He was hurt by the fact that she did not envision the same future as him...but looking at her like this, he still wanted to rush over to comfort her and that urge made him angry. She cast him another sheepish glance and he felt his heart soften even more, despite everything.

She looked pitiful. She looked lonely and it was infuriating. She made them both pitiful and made them both lonely. He could see she was hurting, but he was hurt too. So he dropped the ring in her palm and left.

Lei Xing wrapped her fingers around the ring and watched as the Emperor walked out of her room and just stood there blankly staring at the doors, long after they had been shut. She swallowed and then wearily walked back to the table, her legs felt weak but she willed them to move and sat down. Her mind was blank, she did not want to think. She slipped on the ring and then she reached for the bowl.

It was safe.

He would not poison her, she knew. The memory of how worried he had been when he had accidentally fed her poison flashed through her mind.

She let the memory play in her head as she picked up the bowl and drank the bitter brew, but she had no reaction at all as she tasted nothing. Then she got up and walked to the bed, laid down, with shaking hands she wrapped herself snuggly in her blanket and closed her eyes.

She was shaking, not crying. Shaking. It had been a really long day, an overwhelming day and so she was tired. She would sleep and forget.

{...I'm probably never going to see him again...He'll finally move on...now that it's hopeless, he'll move on...And I'll - maybe I'll...I'll...I'll think about it tomorrow...sleep...}

She would sleep and forget...At least, it was what she wanted.

But reality often paid no heed to our wants. And she laid there blankly staring at the bowl on the table for a long while, mind empty.

All the aches and pains she had been feeling all morning were gone, she felt nothing and thought nothing.