Chapter 5 - Useless Emotions (1/2)

Lei Xing and Xiao Ting were currently seated on the second floor of a theatre house having a break. Xiao Ting was closely paying attention to the drama unfolding below, while Lei XIng seemed to be in deep thought, after she left Doctor Luo's she had gone to three other pharmacies but the doctors there weren't able to help her much on the topic of poisons, she wanted to know what simple methods there were to test for poison, other than the silver testing method, the doctors didn't seem to know another way. Lei Xing sighed.

...The silver testing method was the only method that seems known here...after seeing and reading about this silver testing method in dramas and novels, I was curious and so googled it and found that it is actually not as reliable as they make it seem, something about the silver only reacting if the poison is sulfur based or something like that....bottom line is, it is not reliable, I am sure there are plenty poisonous things that are not sulfur based.....you could probably kill someone with anything if you're creative enough...Ahhh, I really don't want to go...

”How romantic...” Xiao Ting said as she sighed watching the drama on stage, it was about an emperor falling in love with a maid and then making her his empress disregarding everything and anyone for her and ”living” only for her, even executing nobles who criticized his choice.

”I assure you living the reality of that life is not nearly as romantic...” Lei Xing said flatly, looking disinterested at the stage, ”Is it that easy to be the empress even with the emperor's ”love”? and if he really ”lived” only for her, to even disregard his people and execute them isn't that simply being stupid...I'm sure their happy ever after did not last long....”

”Jiejie, you don't understand because you've never been in love...” Xiao Ting protested puffing her cheeks.

”...and have you?” Lei Xing raised an eyebrow at her, smirking.

”...no...” Xiao Ting said quietly, looking down and blushing. Lei Xing laughed and drank her tea.

”Jiejie, I am sure you will fall in love soon...and me too...everyone wants an all-encompassing love like this!” Xiao Ting perked up and smiled as she watched the emperor protecting his love.

Lei Xing glanced at the stage and the emperor was currently in the middle of killing off his concubines who had insulted his new empress, ”I am not interested in a foolish love like that.”

”Jiejie I am sure-...”

”Xiao Ting, how can you tell if someone loves you?” Lei Xing asked as she twirled the tea in her cup.

”huh?...by their words and actions.” She answered after thinking for a while.

”Words and actions?” Lei Xing raised an eyebrow and cast Xiao Ting a questioning gaze.

”Yes, they will treat you well and speak affectionate words to you.” Xiao Ting explained.

”hmm...those concubines the emperor just killed off, do you think he loved them?”

”No, of course not...otherwise, how could he bear to kill them?”

”Really? but I assure you he must have previously treated them well and spoken affectionate words to at least some of them in the past, so by your definition he loved them.”

”That...that...is...” Xiao Ting mind suddenly became confused.

”Now do you understand why I say a love like this is foolish, what you call all-encompassing is an irrational oblivious love...a love like this should not be endearing to you, but should terrify you instead...just like how he forgot all the others he once ”loved” and discarded those he should have treasured all because he one day met a new love, even his own mother was not spared...You should be worried of him doing the same to you when one day he meets another new love... especially when it comes to someone like an emperor who has so many ”loves”, understand?”

...I have never believed in such an obscure thing such as love, even in the future where men weren't legally allowed multiple women, they still cheated and kept mistresses, even some of the most beautiful love stories still encountered this problem, not to talk about a man from this time period, even less so an emperor...I've always thought I had no need for such useless emotions that would cause me unnecessary angst and worry...frankly, I had prepared myself to live a single unattached life and in my 25 years I had barely had any such relationsh.i.p.s, I simply was just never interested...

”Jiejie...” Xiao Ting looked at Lei Xing, sniffed and tears started to fall...

”What are you crying for now?” Lei Xing frowned exasperated...

”...you've changed.” Lei Xing's mouth twitched, she got carried away and talked too much forgetting to reign in her thoughts so as not to seem too different from the norm. She had actually been avoiding all the family members since she got better and they all respected her privacy thinking she was anxiously practicing for the concubine selection...they all did, except Xiao Ting who like a loyal puppy would come to disturb her at least once a day and hang around until Lei Xing got tired and sent her away.

I had gotten too comfortable around this girl...her puppy-like behavior to me reminds me of my younger brother, I must admit I do miss him and so must have been projecting onto her and so went on an enlightening tangent I often went on with him.

Lei Xing nervously laughed, ”Nearly dying is a great life-changing event.”