Chapter 5 - Useless Emotions (2/2)

”Jiejie, I'm sorry...if not for me, you wouldn't have fallen in the lake. It was me who was being careless...if you hadn't reached out to catch me, you wouldn't have fallen in...Honestly, I always thought you hated me, you always seemed to be scolding me and seemed annoyed with me...I knew you were anxious about the concubine selection and was trying to cheer you up...instead I caused you to get hurt...I'm sorry...” Xiao Ting hung her head crying even more.

”It's okay, it's okay...I told you it was an enlightening event, also if I really hated you would I have tried to catch you?” Xiao Ting sheepily looked at Lei Xing and she continued, ”No, of course not I would have just watched you fall...why would I put myself at risk to save you?...so I don't hate you, I may find you annoying but at the end of the day you are my younger sibling, how can I hate you?...” Lei Xing smiled at her warmly to reassure her.

...Younger siblings are generally annoying, it is normal to have a love-hate relationship with them...a sensitive one like this can be even more irritating to deal with...

Seeing her like this, really reminded her of her younger brother trying hard to get her attention or working hard to cheer her up and messing up and being depressed and she had to then cheer him up instead, they had an 8-year gap between so he always saw her as an a.d.u.l.t and the role model to follow, even their parents words did not have as much impact on him as hers did, he even wanted to go to law school mainly to follow her footsteps.

...my death must have devastated him...

”Jiejie...” Xiao Ting started to cry even more.

...Ahh, the thing I hate dealing with the most are emotional people, I really suck at consoling...I remember once when a customer at my job told me they were going to a funeral, my response was silence then an awkward ”I hope everything works out”...yeah, I'm that bad...Of course, I am much better now, but I still dislike it terribly my brain gets confused...

Lei Xing sighed and said, ”What are you still crying for?”

”Jiejie, I'm going to miss you...I won't be able to see you like this anymore...once you...”

Lei Xing cut her off, ”I told you I'm going to fail...”

”but you never know...jiejie is so beautiful and so talented that...” Xiao Ting trailed off blushing.

Lei Xing sighed, ”I have an assured failure.” Xiao Ting looked at her puzzled.

”You said the competition is based on embroidery, literary skills and music right?”

”Yes, but jiejie, you are the most talented person I know, don't tell me that you are really going to fail on purpose? It's not...” Xiao Ting said with a worry-filled face.

”It's not that I plan to fail on purpose, it's just that I seem to have forgotten said talents...” Lei Xing said with a proud smile.

Xiao Ting looked at her in horror, ”Jiejie, why didn't you say anything?! Uh...Uh, we should hurry home and tell father and mother, maybe hire some tutors...or call the doctor...I'm sure you can...no, you must...”

Xiao Ting started to stand up and Lei Xing held her down laughing, ”Isn't it too late for that...anyway, it doesn't matter I have no interest in winning and frankly it's better this way...”

”but, but...” Xiao Ting was fl.u.s.tered and worried.

”Don't worry, I'm not so hopeless that I can't do anything...I will handle it well, the family wouldn't be blamed for anything, I will fail skillfully...” Lei Xing said smiling.

...more like bull**it my way through it...

Xiao Ting looked at her, unconvinced and her tears started to well up again. Lei Xing was exasperated.

”That's enough crying! Your father was a great general and is now the defense minister, your brother is also a great general and your family is made up of a long line of generals...why do you cry so easily?” Xiao Ting pouted and hung her head, Lei Xing was even more irritated, ”You are the proud daughter of a general, buck up! Raise your head, wipe your eyes, smile, turn to the left and happily watch the show.” Xiao Ting, like a robot, followed Lei Xing's commands. Lei Xing felt it funny, she laughed and said, ”That's much better, why cry when it solves nothing...it's better to smile instead.”

...why cry so others can ridicule you?...what use is the pity of onlookers?...no one can look down on you when you smile...

Xiao Ting looked at her sister thoughtfully and nodded to show that she understood, Lei Xing smiled at her and motioned with her head towards the stage, telling her to watch the stage, which currently had two men performing some comedic acts. Xiao Ting smiled, nodded and turned to the stage, but, she couldn't help but keep sneaking glances at her sister, who seemed to be enjoying the comedic acts and laughing along with the crowd.

...Jiejie is really different...but, in a good way...