Chapter 66: Visiting the Cemetery (2/2)

Zhishu He put on a sad smile and shook his head, ”I don't even deserve an umbrella here.” Step by step, he walked into the rain and got close to the death manifestation of his parents'.

Only two steps away from that gravestone, Zhishu He abruptly knelt down on the cold wet cement floor as if he was hit by something heavy. He didn't get up and looked down for a while, then kowtowed intensely all of a sudden.

”Dad, Mom... It was my fault...” Zhishu He was biting his under-lip so hard that it bled and his apologies were squeezed out along with the blood, ”Sorry... Sorry... Sorry...”

Zhishu was unable to cry because he had cried so much for Wenxu Jiang that he had run out of tears. His red eyes seemed like bleeding, he could neither hold back nor let go of the guilt in them.

No matter how big fights he and Wenxu Jiang would have, Zhishu He never mentioned his parents' death to show how pitiful he was. He didn't mention it because he didn't blame Wenxu Jiang. The only person that should take the blame... was himself.

Countless nights, countless awakenings. All he could see was a roomful of pitch black while gnashing the back of his own hand. Zhishu He never let someone else share the burden on his conscience, he blamed himself all along. Every time he was hurt or felt tired out, the pain doubled, but he knew clearly that he wouldn't have another home that was always there waiting for him.

”Mom... Sorry... I always made you worry. I know how disappointed you were... You must have wondered how come a kid that was so good when he was little... abandoned you for a man...” Zhishu He sounded choked but there were no tears in his eyes. Looking carefully, there was only blood. ”I... I've been missing the sweet dumplings you made for 15 years... Cou…could you make those sweet dumplings for me one more time when you aren't mad at me anymore, mom?”

”Mom! Don't ignore me... If you are still in a sulk, just hit me...” Zhishu He suddenly stopped talking; his eyes looked less cloudy. He smiled in bitterness, ”Dad, mom's ignoring me.”

The man and woman in the black-and-white photo were smiling mildly. They seemed to have passed their grace and gentleness on to their son, but now, all they've got was this grave.

It was a cruel fact that you just don't get the lost ones back, whether you can accept it or not.

”Dad, it must have been hard for you to take care of mom in the last decade... She's a timid and dainty woman; she must be scared of the darkness six feet under... Dad, you gotta bear with her. Soon... Soon I'll be protecting the both of you...” Zhishu He said quietly, ”I won't upset you again... Honestly, I won't keep you waiting so long again...”

Ziyu Ai's fingernail pierced his palm as he saw Zhishu He kneeling in rain yet he dared not to interfere. But he had a strong feeling that Zhishu He couldn't go on like this. He didn't quite know how his parents died but he knew any normal human being couldn't bear the torture of being separated from family, not to mention that Zhishu He was a patient in a fraught mental state.

Ziyu Ai walked up to him and sheltered Zhishu with the umbrella. ”Zhishu, let's go home, ” Still, he said, ”We'll visit them again when you get better.”

Surprisingly, Zhishu didn't insist on staying. With Ziyu's help, he struggled to get up and started to walk slowly. Only after three steps, Zhishu looked back at the photo and there he smiled like a kid purely and innocently. ”Dad, mom, wait for me.” He said to himself.

Zhishu He's smile, however, jerked Ziyu Ai's heart. ”Your clothes are all wet. Are you cold?” He said sadly and helplessly.

Zhishu He stayed silent all the way back to the car.

Ziyu turned up the heat and wiped gently Zhishu's face and hair with a dry towel without knowing what to say.

Zhishu looked up at Ziyu for quite a while, and then said with a warm smile, ”I feel so relieved, just like getting rid of the stone weighing me down. I feel so light right now...” Before he finished his sentence, he closed his eyes and fell into sleep.

That just shocked Ziyu. Zhishu's face was ice-cold, but near his neck, his body temperature was terrifyingly hot.