30 The Thunderstorm (1/2)
With all my worrying about this and that, the hours passed by quickly and it was already Sunday evening. The daylight had dimmed already and dark-grey clouds hovered heavily above us. Such a weather would normally make people just wanna lay in bed and sleep all the way through the storm, but my grandmother had a bit of an unusual character. Maybe due to the fact that she had been through so many things like wars, revolutions, and deaths of most of her loved ones, but she refused to be influenced by such an ephemeral weather condition. She was merrily preparing her ingredients in order to bake some cupcakes when she told me, for obvious reasons, that she did not have enough sugar for the recipe.
Maybe because I was a good granddaughter, or maybe because I wanted some time away from being haunted by my thoughts, I accepted the mission and was soon leaving the house. One of the supermarkets around was just in front of our apartment building, but I choose one further away to have as an excuse for being outside for a longer time.
The streets were empty, only cars zoomed through them from time to time, with their owners hurrying to get home before the storm would start. It only took me 10 minutes to reach the supermarket and find a bag of sugar from all the shelves. My grandma's sweets would definitely be a caloric bomb I would not want to mess with, but the temptation to overindulge when I was stressed out was really high.
Reaching the checkout counter I waited patiently for my turn. While doing that, my eyes darted over a metallic blue pack of cigarettes that invoked in me a sweet memory that became slightly bitter now that the decision regarding my future was taken. Without realizing what I was doing, I was asking for the cigarettes pack and placed them in my purse.
”Would you also like a lighter for them? We have this promotion for the brand you just purchased.”
”Sure….” I mumbled absentmindedly still shocked at my own request.
And soon enough I was back up with the groceries, leaving my grandma to her own occupation, I went back to browsing through the jobs offers on the market.
I don't smoke, not anymore, not since I was diagnosed with asthma but the knowledge of the cigarette pack being within my reach had a calming effect. The memory of the relaxingfeeling I had back when I used to smoke was becoming more and more tempting. I knew I was not allowed to, I knew I should resist because this will not solve anything, nor will it make it better, but for some reason, I felt that it will somehow dull the sadness I would feel once I would resign from my job. But for now it would not be necessary, I'll just leave them at the office tomorrow, it would be a waste throwing the whole pack out.
Or so I planned to do, that is until I received a message that left me gasping for air and with my feelings in disarray.
”Guess who's the main star in this great composition? ” And attached to the message was a picture of me and Gray kissing in his office. There was no need to even look at the sender, I already knew who sent it.
At the moment I saw the picture, I could not contain my emotions and my eyes reddened without asking for permission. Before my grandma would see, I got my purse and I was out the door with a simple explanation.
”I'm going to my friend's house, I'll be back later,” I shouted to my grandma before my voice started to get raspy.
”Where are you going in this weather? A thunderstorm is going to start anytime now!” I could hear my grandmother shout but I could not remain in the house. It will only lead to more questions from her and I was not willing to tell her about my problems this time. I already knew her point of view and that it will not change no matter how unfair it felt sometimes.